Envy, Pride and Comparison

With any musician, singer or worship leader, envy, pride and comparison is something that comes up a lot in your emotions. It’s something that can become a stronghold very quickly but is as sly as a fox. You often don’t even know that it’s there. 

I’ve dealt with a lot of pride and comparison over the years. Knowing how to deal with it has been a journey and sometimes a struggle. I came from a mid-size town but some smaller churches where there were not many musicians. Just the mere fact that there weren’t that many people meant that if you knew how to carry a tune or play 3 chords, you were a part of the worship team. So being someone who had a music major at a local university...the doors that were opened were somewhat endless. The accolades I received really sent me into a false confidence and feelings of pride that should never have been there. 

Often times we only think that the negative or discouraging comments from people are those that can cause harm to someone. However, if we receive positive remarks in a wrong way it can be equally as damaging. Over the years I’ve found it so important to really put my trust and confidence in Jesus concerning the gifting and skills that I’ve been given. It’s easy to try to go the complete opposite direction when receiving positive comments and be “super humble” and end up developing a false humility. 

I look at it this way...God has given gifting’s and abilities, to each a unique talent. Then as we practice and develop those skills we are doing what Jesus describes in the parable of the talents. It’s a partnership. 

Comparison can be a tricky thing. It’s very helpful to learn from what others are doing in an excellent way and want to be excellent as well. However, it’s a very slippery slope that can lead into envy. My first couple of years as a musician/worship leader in Kansas City was a journey because for the first time in my life I was among so many who were my superiors musically. I had to dive evermore so deeply into the heart of Jesus for His pleasure and His delight in who I was. Through extended times in prayer I found myself realizing I was so dependent on people for their accolades and compliments. 

For me, through meditating on scripture, I really saw the Lord’s delight over me in my uniqueness and that He was so pleased with me. I also discovered that envy, pride and comparison isn’t something you “get over” or get prayed for once and then it’s gone. It’s something you practice responding to daily so that the bitterness and strife does not find its way into your life. It’s a daily trusting in the leadership of Jesus. It’s a daily looking towards Jesus for His glance of delight and approval. It’s a constant looking to Jesus to be great in His eyes and not looking to be great by the world’s standards.

© 2012 Adam Parker